A SIlent Hill Xmas Party
by prhoads3
Summary: its xmas time in silent hill and the monsters and humans are getting together for a party at the lakeview hotel. will it be just a normal happy xmas party? or will there be mayhem, chaos and lots of booze?


It was December the 24th in Silent Hill and everything had a festive holiday cheer to it. Toluca Lake was a giant sheet of ice covered with a fine powder of snow. The nurses of Silent Hill were busy figure skating on one end of the lake. Towards the other end, a rough and violent hockey game was taking place. Monsters such as insane cancers, scrapers, closers, lying figures and mannequins were painting the ice red with fights every few seconds.

The same powdery snow that covered the lake was coating the town as well. It gave the town a Charles Dickens old world charm to it. Wreathes were hung on most of the doors, lights were strung up on sign posts, there were trees lit in Rosewater Park and places such as Brookhaven and Cedar Grove were alit with merriment. The grey children at Midwich Elementary School were busy hanging stockings awaiting Santa and the new knives they hoped to get. The numb bodies were busy being horses pulling sleighs throughout the town full of the town's residents. Even the otherworld, usually full of rust, death and decay, had a bizarre holiday feel to it. Instead of eating decayed flesh from the floors, the slurpers were enjoying holiday hams and turkeys. Leonard was singing carols, in a horrific screeching voice, in his underground hospital prison. There were trees but they were decorated with severed heads, entrails and eyeballs.

At the Lakeside Hotel, a party was just getting underway for the monsters and the humans of Silent Hill. Valtiel was busy scurrying along the walls trimming the doors with lights and tinsel. He was dressed like Will Ferrell from Elf the movie. Pendulums were winding garland around a massive fir tree that dominated one corner. Dr. Kaufman and Lisa were busy setting up a buffet table, the smells of cookies, popcorn and coffee filling the space. They kept getting interrupted by a pack of sniffer and double head dogs. One attempted to hump the good doctor and Lisa, dressed like Ms. Claus, laughed until she passed out. She had been hitting the eggnog since early that afternoon. Everything seemed right until the outside door crashed open and in stepped Pyramid Head

"Fuck this sucks monkey assholes" He grumbled, shaking the pile of snow from his helmet. Stomping his feet, several bulbs crashed onto his head and he grumbled louder. "Fucking hate Xmas Valtiel" He shouted up towards the ceiling

"Ah, it's the holidays so quite being a sour puss" Valtiel responded by dropping down to the floor. He accepted a glass of eggnog and one sip told him Lisa had used more alcohol than was necessary.

"You look retarded in that elf outfit"

Valtiel tugged his pointy ears and chuckled "So what? I like this time of year"

"Fairy" Pyramid Head snorted

"Have you forgotten your dressing up too?" Valtiel inquired

"I don't want to dress up" Pyramid Head whined, sounding like a petulant child. He stomped his feet and crossed his arms as he pouted like a big baby

"Come on big guy just this once" Valtiel crawled over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder "I heard Santa gets all the sex he wants"

"REALLY!?" Pyramid Head exclaimed, his erection become a Xmas tree under his skirt. It damn near poked Valtiel in his head

"Yep" Valtiel replied looking away at the obscene bulge "Your outfit is in the gift shop"

"Alright I'll be right back" Pyramid Head thudded across the room towards the gift shop. Crashing through the door, Valtiel wondered if he had made a huge mistake. Instead of dwelling on it, he set back to finishing the decorations. Minutes later, Pyramid Head emerged, the Santa suit straining under his massive bulk

"Fucking thing is squeezing my balls" Pyramid Head bitched digging the pants out of his ass crack. The hat was set askew on his helmet, the jacket had rips under the armpits and ended at his elbows and pants ended at his knees

"Hmm, it's a bit small" Valtiel replied with a hint of smugness

"Small? After I'm done I won't have balls. I'll have a pussy like you" Pyramid Head retorted

"Ah look at Santa queer" A reverberating thunderous voice echoed. Stepping into the lobby, the Butcher was decked out in a New England Patriots hoodie and hat. His uncovered half of his half was beet red with the cold

"Eat shit you aborted monkey fetus. Besides the Broncos are way better than those pussies." Pyramid Head growled shifting his weight into attack mode

"Bring it you cock sucking bitch" Butcher hollered back motioning for Pyramid Head to try his luck.

Tension grew thick in the room as Lisa and the doctor ducked for cover. The other monsters scurried out of the room before they found themselves in trouble. Before the two bulls could lock horns, the door opened again and in walked Walter Sullivan chewing on a massive candy cane

"Thought this was a Xmas party not the WWE" He chuckled, slapping Valtiel on the back

"Alright you two enough. If you want to fight do it after the party okay?" Valtiel sounded whiny but he didn't care. He wasn't going to let these two brutes destroy the best part of the year for him

"Fine but one more crack about the Broncos and Manning and I'll use your balls for ornaments" The Butcher spat as he gave Pyramid Head the finger

"Whatever you turd" Pyramid Head snorted

"Hey Pyramid Claus can I sit on your lap?" Walter laughed like a loon as Valtiel shook his head

"You can sit on my face since you're such a pussy" Pyramid Head shouted back and despite the tension in the air, everyone in the lobby burst out laughing. Lisa laughed so hard, eggnog squirted out of her nose and all over the Butcher. This brought the laughter to a deafening roar and got worse when Pyramid Head blew the windows out with a massive fart

"Fuck the reindeers, our Santa has got jet propulsion" Valtiel chortled his sides hurting from so much laughing

The laughter continued unabated as The Boogeyman walked in, his rain coat painted in festive colors. Walter started chocking on his candy and the Butcher slapped him on the back. The candy went flying and landing in Lisa's eggnog who drank it despite the projectile. Finally the laughter died off as the room started filling up with more people

Travis came in first looking more like Santa than Pyramid Head with a waist long beard

"Hey Travis you trying out for Duck Dynasty?" Walter quipped

Next came Eileen, who was wearing a dress that left nothing to the imagination, and Henry who was wearing a pair of antlers. He looked glum and pissed off and obviously in no mood for festive cheer. Pyramid Head felt a chubby working as he stared at the luscious curves of Eileen

"Easy boy, I don't want to embarrass myself" Pyramid Head whispered to his boys

Next up was Heather who was smoking a cigarette, had jet black spikey hair and was dressed like a biker chick. Valtiel sighed at the sight of the girl he had a secret crush. He wanted to say hi but hung back in the corner. Douglas stumbled in after her, his nose redder than Rudolph's and instantly headed towards the booze

"Christ on a pogo stick. Don't you think you drank enough today Douglas?" Heather said flicking her cigarette in a poinsettia plant

"Just a little taste" He chuckled and then Heather saw he wasn't just after the booze but the boobs of Eileen and Lisa. Adjusting his tie, he went over to where the two ladies were quietly talking. Heather smacked her head and moaned what am I going to do with him.

Two more people walked in as music started playing over the loudspeaker. One was Murphy who looked like a homeless bum in his tattered pants and duct taped jacket. The other was Alex and he was dressed just in black pants, a hoodie and had a neatly trimmed goatee

"Hello sexy" Heather muttered raising her eyebrow a bit

Heather's jubilant mood disappeared though when a woman walked in with long flowing white hair and robe with the hood up. Anger flowed hot in her veins and she grounded her teeth as she clenched her fists. Everyone seemed to sense Heather's anger and turned towards her as veins popped out on her head. With defiant steps, she marched up to Claudia with the purpose on finding out how she was still alive. After getting her answers, she planned on ramming a poinsettia down her throat

"CLAUDIA YOU DAMN FUCKING BITCH" Heather screamed her face growing beet red

Claudia turned towards Heather and when she saw who it was Heather took a step back

"Vincent? What the blue fuck are you doing?" Heather snapped

Lowering the hood, the face of Vincent smiled down at her. He was wearing the same robe as Claudia along with a bleach blond wig and makeup

"Hi Heather long time no see. You thought I died right?" He said

"Yes that's right you freak"

"Well I managed to make it out alive despite being stabbed by that crazy witch" Vincent replied stroking the wig with a seductive touch

"Okay so why are you dressed like Claudia?" Heather inquired grinding her knuckles together

"Ever seen Psycho?" Vincent asked and Heather shook her head yes

"Well instead of dressing up like my mother and acting like her, I dress up like Claudia and act like her. I can't say why I do it but I enjoy it especially wearing her panties" Vincent grinned like a lunatic while stroking the hair harder

"You sick fuck" Heather hissed her anger now going nuclear

"What? You don't like me anymore" Vincent asked

"No I don't you retarded pervert." Heather replied then she smiled wickedly at him "Do you like Jingle Balls?"

"You mean Jingle Bells right?" Vincent asked

"No Jingle Balls" Heather replied kicking Vincent right in the crotch. "Jingle Balls, Jingle Balls, Vincent is a sick pervert fuck. Oh what fun it is to kick him in his balls. Jingle Balls, Jingle Balls" Heather kicked Vincent every few seconds as she continued to sing. He fell to the ground hollowing like a wounded animal as the entire party watched on with odd fascination. After she was done, Vincent was whimpering and pleading for Heather to stop.

"Oh I will stop" Heather said then stared wide eyed at him. She shot him point blank with the Sexy Beam which sent Vincent flying out of the door and into the snowy night

"Wow what a spitfire. I really like her a lot" Alex stated as he sipped his eggnog

"Yes she is "Valtiel retorted sternly hoping to make a point that Heather was his and his only. That is if he could summon up the courage to tell her his feelings. Alex simply chuckled at him before going over to the buffet table. Valtiel started forward towards Heather but stopped unsure of what to say. He smacked himself in the head for being so stupid but vowed to make a move on Heather before the night was out

"And stay out you sick fuck" Heather screamed into the night before slamming the door. Blowing out a disgusted hiss, she hoped the rest of her night would be okay. Her mood soured again when she looked over and saw Douglas getting cozy with Lisa and Eileen

"Come on sweet cheeks just one kiss" Douglas slurred thickly splashing eggnog all over the floor. He had his shirt halfway open and his tie was dangling from his pants. A lampshade was perched precariously on his head. The smell of booze that was coming from him was strong enough to kill God twice over

"Get away from me you lecherous old man" Lisa protested shrinking further into the corner

"What about you sugar tits?" Douglas said to Eileen licking his chops at her ample curves "I still can get it up"

"Sure why not? One kiss won't hurt" Eileen gave him a seductive smile. Bending over a little, she gave Douglas a long look at her heaving cleavage while giggling "Close your eyes stud"

Douglas closed his eyes puckering up his lips and drooling over his shirt. His nose was glowing red along with his stubble cheeks. As he leaned in closer, Eileen grabbed her bag and swung like David Ortiz. A resounding thud echoed across the room as Douglas went flying. Walter barely stepped out of the way as the lecherous old man flew like Santa's reindeer. He collided with the tree and hung upside down his pants falling down to reveal snowman boxers

"Damn Eileen what have you got in that purse?" Lisa asked her dumbfounded

Eileen emptied her bag of three stout lengths of chain and a brick "A girl had to be prepared especially when you find out your neighbor has been spying on you"

While the two women chatted and Heather was removing Douglas from the tree, a tall blond girl walked into the room. She was wearing a formal evening gown and had her hair trussed in a long braided ponytail. A man with dirty blond hair and a thick mustache followed her dressed like a lumberjack and carrying an oversized gift

"Laura wait up a second" James said as he searched around the room.

In a corner he found Pyramid Head sulking obviously not liking this festive gathering. Dragging his gift over, James stood in front of his mortal enemy.

"Hello Pyramid Head" James said "Long time no see"

"Piss off James I'm not in the mood" Pyramid Head seethed turning his head away

"Well this might cheer you up" James grunted as he dropped his oversized gift in front of his mortal enemy

Pyramid Head looked at the gift before his feet with a wary eye. Bending down, he picked at the colorful paper and ribbons. Slowly he ripped a corner of it then finished ripping off the rest of the paper

"Betsy is that you?" Pyramid Head chocked on his words as he looked upon his Great Knife "It is you Betsy oh how I have missed you" Pyramid Head picked up the word and gently kissed it. Holding it like a child he whispered sweet tender words to his long lost weapon

"Merry Xmas big guy" James said with a huge smile on his face

"Oh James you've made me ever so happy" Pyramid Head was blubbering like a baby but he didn't care who saw him. His old friend was back and he could go on so many wonderful killing sprees now. Standing up he gave James a rib cracking hug as he cried harder

"James I am so sorry for trying to kill you and Maria. I was just there to make you remember you know? I hope you can accept my apology"

"Pyramid Head I accept and I'm sorry for taking your Great Knife and causing you pain"

The two embraced again and something magical happened at that moment. Their sappy bromance spread like a wildfire throughout the room infecting monster and human alike

"Uh Travis?" Butcher said uneasily to his mortal enemy

"Uh Butcher?" Travis replied scratching his thick wooly bear

"You think we should" Butcher asked him then hesitated

"Hug it out?" Travis implied and the Butcher nodded

The two looked at each other hesitantly searching one another's face on what the other was going to do. This went on for a while until the two quickly patted each other on the back and parted ways

"No go away" Henry grumbled his mood as sour as the eggnog. He had taken a seat up at the top of the stairs away from the merriment. Being alone on Xmas was what he wanted and to spy on Eileen as she changed from the hole in his apartment. But she had been adamant about going even though he protested. Henry thought he would be fine but Walter had found him

"It's just a hug to make up" Walter replied opening his arms

"NO! You've ruined my life enough so scram" Henry picked up his drink and disappeared through a door

"Spoil sport" Walter snorted leaving Henry to his devices

Murphy and the Boogeyman didn't get a chance to make up either. The Boogeyman had drunk all the eggnog and had run naked throughout the hotel. He wound up writing his name in the snow then passed out in a snow drift. Three sniffer dogs used his as a hydrant but he was completely gone

Meanwhile Lisa, pleasantly pickled, made a move on Murphy.

"Hey good looking" She slurred her words stumbling around like a zombie "You know how to dance?"

"Uh why?" Murphy replied. He was like Henry being in no mood for Xmas merriment and wanted to leave

"I thought we could do the horizontal tango." Lisa answered then shocked the shit out of Murphy and Walter who was standing behind him by pulling down her dress "How about these sugar plums?"

"Uh" Was all Murphy could say before Lisa jumped in his arms and planted a boozy kiss on him. He didn't pull away and Walter hooted and hollered at them. Murphy and Lisa slipped away to an upstairs room and she was so drunk he had to carry her

Sick of Douglas and his perverted ways, Heather sought out Alex and found him under the mistletoe. One lingering kiss and the two were going at it in the corner like a pair of rabbits. They eventually followed Murphy and Lisa's lead and retreated upstairs. Valtiel had noticed and disappeared into the downstairs bathrooms. There he sulked for the rest of the night with a case of champagne.

The party continued on into the wee hours of the morning. Pyramid Head and James kept their bromance going strong all night. Travis and the Butcher kept having awkward moments until they finally hugged it out. Douglas made a pass at Laura only to be clocked by Eileen again. Dr. Kauffman kept getting raped by the dogs of Silent Hill. Murphy and Lisa and Heather and Alex didn't leave the hotel to late the next afternoon. And what happened to poor old Vincent who Heather blasted away? He spent the rest of the night at home in Claudia's underwear crying into a tub of Chunky Monkey while watching a Xmas Story.


End file.
